Menopausal Mondays Series No. 4 - Ouch, I'm all pins and needles.....

photo@amanda'sdivinelywovenwords

What is the most annoying thing about menopause for you so far?

For me it is the tingling and aching joints.

Ok I have not experienced much of a hot flush or flash yet, I guess that might be annoying. Well actually come to think on it, all of it is more than annoying, but today as I write this it’s the tingling and joint pain that is giving me greatest discomfort.

This symptom was one of the first that I felt although I didn’t associate it with menopause for a long time. This week it just seems to be constant and night time is when it strikes most.

I can’t sit it is so uncomfortable. I can’t move around much it is too painful and sleep is so out of the question.

Even my hands and fingers are tingling and sore as I write this, but I am determined I need to keep on. I feel as if there has been 40 years added to my life overnight!

Although not the most common symptom of menopause or perimenopause tingling is very bothersome, sore and unpleasant.  It mostly affects feet, legs, arms and hands but can affect any part of the body. I feel it mostly in my legs and more recently it seems to affect my hands and forearms.

Apparently, and I am sure this sounds very familiar, it is down to hormone fluctuations! A decline in oestrogen, a hormone that has a complex effect on the central nervous system, blood circulation, and the health of the skin can lead to thinner skin and misdirected signals from the nervous system sometimes causing these episodes of tingling and aching joints.

Medically the tingling, we may know as pins and needles, is called PARASTHESIA. Another symptom some women, including myself, experience is the sensation of creepie-crawlies on the skin and this amazingly has a medical term, it is called FORMICATION. It feels as if there is a creepie- crawlie or insect crawling on your skin but, in fact, there is nothing there. When I first started sensing this, I, being the drama queen as ever, began to be reminded of Sigourney Weaver in Alien!

While for most women during this season of life menopause is most likely to be the cause of such symptoms however don’t rule out other causes and it is always worthwhile checking with the doctor particularly if you experience other symptoms alongside such as paralysis, loss of bladder/bowel control, loss of feeling on one side, and vision changes. These are not exclusive and if you experience unexplained symptoms along with the tingling it is wise to make that visit to your GP.

In most cases a good balanced diet, drinking plenty of water, adequate rest and of course the all-important exercise are the most effective ways to manage menopause.

 














However don’t rule out some alternative treatments such as ginseng, turmeric or another additional vitamin supplement.

Photo:amanda'sdivinelywovenwords

Photo:amanda'sdivinelywovenwords

Physical wellbeing cannot be understated during menopause, but our spiritual wellbeing should not be neglected as it will undoubtedly bring the greatest strength and comfort throughout the menopause. We began this series by remembering that we, yes us women, are created in the image of God. That is a big WOW and the basis from which to begin maintaining our spiritual wellbeing. Despite the discomfort we may feel and very probably, if you are like me, the inability to kneel for a period of time and then rise is virtually impossible! Yet despite this it is important to focus on our faith, to spend time before God in prayer and reflection on scripture.

I hadn’t planned this at the start of this post but having reached the end I feel led to give myself a challenge to read a verse a day over the next month and post it in this blog with my thoughts - if I have any, join me if you wish by posting your verse and thoughts in the comments.

I really feel God is telling me to look at my attitude in this season of life, to entrench the truth that I am made in His image – ME – yes me-  and even in this mixed up confusing and painful time He has a purpose for me.

Menopause does not mean pause life and God but rather it may be a time to pause and reflect upon my Creator and Saviour, the giver of life and purpose.

Photo:amanda'sdivinelywovenwords

All photos except where stated are not my own and are unlicensed.  

Menopausal Mondays Series no 3A Fatigue continued

In my last blog I probably left things just a little too negatively, sorry about that, however as I’m rational today, at least at the moment, and writing this blog before the fatigue hits I will pick up from where I left off last time. 

A common symptom of menopause, for many women reportedly about 80%, is the persistent tiredness often for no obvious reason. It is not just a lack of energy it can feel like a weight, an exhaustion that feels physical, mental and emotional, it can be an uncontrollable desire to suddenly sleep at odd times, an inability to concentrate, lack of mental alertness, inability to focus or feel engaged. It is as if your usual passion for life just disappeared into a black hole.

Fatigue in menopause can range from mild to severe and affects women differently. It is in the main  caused by hormonal changes however other menopausal symptoms such as night sweats, insomnia, anxiety and stress can all be contributory factors to fatigue felt by women. It is important to remember that other factors may cause fatigue, such as anaemia, depression, thyroid problems or heart disease and it may be necessary to consult your GP if you are fatigued to rule out other factors.

What will help?

One thing I found very useful is water. Drinking plenty of water and keeping hydrated really does make a difference. Even if you don’t think you are dehydrated, fatigue is one of the first signs of dehydration and a loss of even 1% of body water can begin to impact your energy level.

Proper nutirition to make sure you have enough of what you need. Eat plenty of fruits, vegetables, whole grains and proteins such as lean meat, chicken and fish. Really limit the fats and sweets!

 Amanda'sdivinelywovenwords

Get out and get some fresh air. It really can’t be stressed enough exercise does make a difference to your physical and mental wellbeing. Why not visit a local historic site or landmark and enjoy the great outdoors while marvelling at the wonderful. Heritage we have around us. It’s a bit of an enigma really the more you exercise the more the energy levels rise! Ofcourse exercise doesn’t need to be strenuous so as to exhaust yourself further.

Dunluce Castle; Amanda'sdivinelywovenwords

Amanda'sdivinelywovenwords

Perhaps you may wish to try some herbal remedies. A colleague of mine suggested Tumeric from the health shop. I have not tried this yet but from what research I have done it looks as if it might be worth a try. I usually take chamomile tea and this helps me relax making sleep at night somewhat easier.  Do talk to your doctor before taking herbs or supplements as they can interfere with other medications you may be taking.

Of course the best thing you can do is relax and mind your mind! When you stress less, you are not as anxious. Anxiety, stress and depression are known to contribute to how fatigued women can feel and especially so during this season of life. Well how do I do that you may well be asking. I know it feels like a vicious circle and its hard to find the start and stop points. How can I feel less stressed, less fatigued if it’s due to hormones and I simply don’t have the energy or mood to do anything? That’s my experience  too so this is for me as much you.

Perhaps the point at which we start to mind our minds is of no consequence it is just that we start. Somewhere. Anywhere.

How about find something to do that stops you thinking about what is stressing you or gives you another focus?

Whiterocks Beach Amanda'sdivinelywovenwords

 

It can be walking along a beach day dreaming? It can be a good workout whatever it is that works for you. Make time to do this every day.  My pastor recently said “sometimes prayer will just not cut it” Ooh sounds almost heretical! But in reality it is biblical, you can pray and pray and pray and be all righteous and super spiritual but God is saying in response “do something!” We are made in His image right? HE is the creator, that means HE created He did something right? So let’s start right there, let’s do something that will focus our minds on anything but the problem. Jericho’s walls just didn’t fall down, no the Israelites had to do something.  Naaman had to do something to get his healing. Do what you can, and let God do the impossible. If you are still not convinced and think nothing is better than prayer, you say well prayer is all I can do, then go for a prayer walk around the block and pray for the neighbourhood.

Right ladies let's do this. Where are you going to start? What do you do to take you mind of things to feel less stressed? And let me know if this makes you feel less tired.

My visit to a heritage monument during a medieval fair

My favourite - Reading

Walking the dog 

Menopausal Mondays Series No 3 Fatigue

 Sleep, sleep and more sleep or should that be no sleep, no sleep and yet more no sleep unless of course it’s 3 in the afternoon and you are at work. Then you can sleep.

A few weeks ago, I was taking the minutes for a meeting in work, it began well I even managed to contribute some good ideas to the discussion. Then suddenly it went down hill as an insane fatigue crept upon me unexpectedly as fast as lightning. One second, I was conscious and writing the notes then even as I was writing I was falling asleep, several times this happened, and I jolted myself awake to see in place of notes an unintelligible scribble and no recollection of the thought I was writing at the time.  

Panic engulfed me as I wondered if anyone noticed. Like they could have missed it!

Then just yesterday again as suddenly as a perfect storm rises at sea I drifted off as I sat at my desk replying to an email. No warning, just boom, fatigue hits and keeping your eyes open is impossible -beyond your control. All I could hear was a voice of a colleague “Amanda, Amanda, Amandaaaaaa”, “yes” I snapped when I finally managed to break the trance and wake up.

photo:amanda'sdivelywovenwords

Should I worry about what my younger male colleagues think that I, as team leader, simply fell asleep at the wheel as it were? How do I explain this?

Totally embarrassing. Embarrassing. I am left thinking the boys are talking about me, losing confidence in me as their manager and deeming me to be just becoming a skiver or worse a doting old lady.

Yes, it really, really does feel like this.

If this is how you feel or you can relate, do I have answers for you today?

Sorry but no I don’t, not today.

But I will say you are not alone, take heart from that.

Tomorrow will be a different day.

photo:amanda'sdivelywovenwords

All photos except where stated are not my own and are unlicensed.

Menopausal Monday series no. 2 : Wow! Rage...

Wow, rage!

I am not characteristically known as an angry woman although I have had the odd outburst through the years but just the other day I had another uncontrollable rage, these are becoming more frequent. They seem to come out of nowhere and are not for any logical reason.  So, what happened this time? I had gone to town to pick up a message and on returning home I called in with my daughter.  And because she was not any help in deciding what to do for dinner I blew a gasket literally over that. I was like a madwoman: shouting and screaming, pacing back and forth. It is illogical, completely out of proportion.

The worst thing though is you know it’s irrational, you know it's not justifiable and above all anything but christian. You know afterwards you will feel stress and shame - there is only so many lifelines the ‘I’m a woman with menopause’ will buy you ! The embarrassment and the guilt creep in amidst the confusion and feelings of “Am I losing my mind?”

Apparently, it’s not unusual for menopausal women to have these rages. While the physical effects of the change are reasonably well known, the mental ones are less well understood - and often devastating. Not to make too light of it, it has destroyed careers, marriages, relationships and women’s lives as they knew it.

Menopausal rage is linked to hormonal changes. A health survey (Nuffield, 2015) of more than 3,000 menopausal women found that 60 per cent have experienced hormonal changes that made them behave differently or had a detrimental effect on their life, with uncharacteristic, irrational anger a common symptom.

it is thought that as our oestrogen levels fall, the impact for some women is that it can affect how we manage our emotions. Which, simply put, means we have less control. And so, we can get a lot angrier, as instead of reigning in our anger we do the opposite and let it out.

It has been suggested that you may be at a higher risk of suffering menopause-related anger outbursts if you have a history of postpartum depression, premenstrual syndrome symptoms or depression. Or others believe it is repressed anger from when we were younger (because of course we are very much of a generation where it was not polite or socially acceptable for women to feel angry) and it is this unresolved anger from the past we are letting out rather than anger from something in the present moment.

That is quite thought provoking especially for Christian women because we’re told it isn’t acceptable for a Christian, and more so women even today, to be angry and we feel we have to keep our feelings in check, not speak out or complain. It is expected that we are to be mild, peaceful and accepting. And that of course conflicts with how we feel when this uncontrollable rage blindsides us.

So, what can do about it?

We looked at in the previous blog how we – women- are made in His image, He understands. That’s a good basis from which to put in place some specific strategies to help us through.

Jesus did not ignore physical needs. He knew fatigue, hunger and pain. And sometimes we need to do what is best for our physical bodies.

I am much more likely to be irritated and fly off the handle if I am tired, and I can get tired if I don’t eat properly or exercise enough.

Wellness is linked to getting out an about taking in the sights and ensuring our bodies get exercised. This has a positive impact not just physically, but studies would indicate it impacts our mental health also.

Those delicious but so high in sugar treats we like to reward ourselves with or an extra cup of coffee can race up your nervous system and leave your nerves jangling making it so much easier to lose control and on comes that rage. As with a lot of other complaints good nutritional habits can make a world of difference.

Taking care of the physical is good and will help your emotions as well, which may well be all over the place, but it is important to remember that although you may be feeling hopeless and alone, you may be suffering guilt pangs or confusion and feel spiritually cut off from God:Psalm 31:22 says

“For I said in my haste, I am cut off from before thine eyes: nevertheless thou heardest the voice of my supplications when I cried unto thee.”

Feeling cut off from God? See the BUT in this scripture…

photo by Amanda's divinelywovenwords

The promise of Hebrews 4:16 still applies to us ladies as we are going through this: “Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.”

Menopause is no barrier to God’s grace and even at our worst it is good to remember His grace is not dependant on us being some super woman who never has a bad day but His grace reaches us and covers us when we ask simply because He is good and He cares about us.

photo by Amanda's divinelywovenwords

I said earlier that some studies believe it is unresolved anger from previous situations. It would be wise to consider where your anger is coming from and try to resolve issues. Of course, and this is very important, if you are extremely angry so much that you frighten yourself it would be unwise to not double check with your doctor for any other underlying cause.

One more thing you can do to help is to communicate with your family and close friends. One day I sat both my adult children down and let them know what was going on with me. I may have over emphasised the facts because they both asked me if I could die from it! I assured them not and that in a few years I would not snap their heads off over nothing again. Together we look forward to that day meantime they try to understand which is a great support to me. I love that about them and it helps me to remember if they do that much for me how much more God loves and cares and forgives me.

So I hope this has helped. If any of you are finding you are losing it a little too often for no reason and you have any questions on anything, please do get in touch I’d love to get your emails or subscribe for more instalments.

All photos in this blog post except where stated are  not my own but"free to use" courtesy pixaby and public domain.

Menopausal Mondays series no. 1 - "Be moderate and gentle"

Be moderate and gentle to those around you, the message my pastor preached the other Sunday. 

Good message yes, but what, as he repeated that phrase over and over, was I thinking of?

This is new ground for me, I am not given to talking about “women’s things” however this phase of life has brought such sudden and unexpected changes it is time to voice up and if it helps you walk through this or empathise with a sister going though it then that is great but giving voice to it will certainly help me! Maybe we can help each other along the way.

If you like this blog as you read on, subscribe for more, I am going to do a regular Menopausal Monday blog  so keep an eye out for that.

Philippians 4

4 Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! 5 Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. 6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Does even God understand the menopause?

Those verses right there!

Gentleness - when mood swings right then left and lands a sucker punch to the centre.

Don’t be anxious - when anxiety swamps and panic invades, and memory fades.

Pray - when I can’t think of the words I want to say?

And it all comes out of nowhere. Really!

Does God know what I am going through right now! Does He even understand? 

I never thought about menopause until it hit me like a tidal wave.

This much I know, if you are a woman sooner or later as sure as the tide ebbs and flows that wave will come crashing over you if it hasn’t already.

Of course, each of us are unique and the way it affects us will differ somewhat but for many the signs are instantly recognizable: hot flushes, weight gain, unwanted facial hair to name a few. It can come with serious mood swings, anxiety, inability to concentrate, forgetfulness, sleeplessness, migraines, increased risk of heart problems and osteoporosis. In a nutshell. It affects us physically and mentally, it affects the whole woman - body and mind - and that, ladies, impacts upon our spiritual lives.

Hot? Let's cool down.

Photo courtesy flickr.com

Photo courtesy Flickr.com

It sounds rather grim doesn’t it? It feels miserable too when your pastor has preached about being moderate and gentle and on returning home from church full of gentleness and then, suddenly, you rage uncontrollably because the dishes weren’t done while you were out.

Failed, right there,

Failure,

add that to the menopausal list.

You might feel the pastor and God weren’t accounting for menopausal women in the congregation as you burst into tears for no real reason again! 

So, what can we women do? 

It is important to remember that God created us in His image. Girls, it wasn’t just man He made in His image but, us women, we too were created in His likeness. He created our physical attributes and our aging is all part of the process, part of His design.

Wow, in His likeness!

It may feel like He doesn’t understand but when we get to the nub of the truth we can see that He must understand for this is how He made us. Perhaps in a crazy way this weakness in our bodies, discomforting as it may be, leaves us with no option but to lean on Him and rely on His strength in ways we never did before - as a woman who was strong for her children, her family and as women who not only manage the home but manage careers as well.

We are told in Philippians 1: 6 that God will complete that which he started in us and menopause is not about to get in His way.

This is going to be one crazy season of life we are embarked upon. I think in some ways it will be like getting to know myself better as I get to know God in ways I haven’t needed Him before.

photo courtesy flikr.com

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