I have sat often and reflected on my life and the things that have happened. There have been times of deep distress, confusion, heart break, sadness and there have been good times and joyous times too. But while I often asked the question why is this happening in the dark days I, admittedly, rarely asked why in the everyday routine things of life or the momentous happy times.
It is almost accepted as the default position to ask why when something bad happens because we want answers, we don't understand, because going through things can be painful.
Do I need to turn things inside out? Do I need to look at things differently? To say, even in the middle of hurt and pain, why is there blessing and favour in this? why is there provision? why?
Of course there is s simple answer, one which is not always seen.
Recently I have been facing tough days, it feels like an onslaught if I am honest. One night as I was hurting and confused I prayed for comfort and I read some well know scriptures to rest my mind on, but it was when I got to a scripture, one I knew well, had read many times before, but in that moment became so obvious that I wondered how I had missed the awe of it before.
Read the whole chapter but I'm only quoting a bit of v 18 here:
Ephesians 3 v 18
grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ,
Did you catch the awe of it? It reduced me to tears as I saw more than ever before the love of God to me. It struck me in such a way that it felt as if I was drowning, like I was completely and utterly immersed in this love. It was like a tidal wave.
And when you're knocked off your feet, when you're aware, actually more than aware - overwhelmed- of how much you're loved, if you can truly, ever really, comprehend the height and depth and width, the question becomes not one of why is this terrible thing being done to me but why do you love me so much, God? why do you care so much about me, why are you so compassionate that you weep when I weep, why God? Why such grace?
It is incomprehensible, it is all I can do to just receive it.
Yet He chooses to love me, He chooses to provide for me, He chooses to care for me, He chooses to shower me with mercy and grace.
And He chooses to let us in on that divine mystery, to know His unknowable love by His Spirit.
