Menopausal Mondays Series No 3 Fatigue

 Sleep, sleep and more sleep or should that be no sleep, no sleep and yet more no sleep unless of course it’s 3 in the afternoon and you are at work. Then you can sleep.

A few weeks ago, I was taking the minutes for a meeting in work, it began well I even managed to contribute some good ideas to the discussion. Then suddenly it went down hill as an insane fatigue crept upon me unexpectedly as fast as lightning. One second, I was conscious and writing the notes then even as I was writing I was falling asleep, several times this happened, and I jolted myself awake to see in place of notes an unintelligible scribble and no recollection of the thought I was writing at the time.  

Panic engulfed me as I wondered if anyone noticed. Like they could have missed it!

Then just yesterday again as suddenly as a perfect storm rises at sea I drifted off as I sat at my desk replying to an email. No warning, just boom, fatigue hits and keeping your eyes open is impossible -beyond your control. All I could hear was a voice of a colleague “Amanda, Amanda, Amandaaaaaa”, “yes” I snapped when I finally managed to break the trance and wake up.

photo:amanda'sdivelywovenwords

Should I worry about what my younger male colleagues think that I, as team leader, simply fell asleep at the wheel as it were? How do I explain this?

Totally embarrassing. Embarrassing. I am left thinking the boys are talking about me, losing confidence in me as their manager and deeming me to be just becoming a skiver or worse a doting old lady.

Yes, it really, really does feel like this.

If this is how you feel or you can relate, do I have answers for you today?

Sorry but no I don’t, not today.

But I will say you are not alone, take heart from that.

Tomorrow will be a different day.

photo:amanda'sdivelywovenwords

All photos except where stated are not my own and are unlicensed.